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"Mature Content Warning!" |
| “ | You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say, "Oh, I'll get you later" but "later" never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound, intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much...he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible! You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would have known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore. | „ |
| ~ Quagmire explaining his hatred for Brian while accurately describing him. |
Brian Edward Griffin is one of the deuteragonists of Fox's Family Guy franchise.
He is the Griffin family's pet dog and Peter Griffin and Stewie Griffin's best friend. He starts as a good yet slightly bitter dog before devolving into a hypocritical, pretentious douche.
He is voiced by series creator Seth MacFarlane, who also voices Stewie Griffin in the same series.
His Evil Ranking[]
His Villainous Deeds[]
- He once dated a neglectful preschool teacher known as Miss Emily and looked past the neglect of the children (including his friend Stewie) to continue being with her. He only reports her after he learns she has another boyfriend.
- In "Back to the Woods", a flashback reveals that he taped the reaction of Stewie, who was forced to see an obscene video called Two Girls, One Cup, just for Brian's own sadistic amusement.
- In "Killer Queen", he tormented Stewie with a Queen album "News of the World"'s disturbing imagery of a robot killing the band members of Queen, almost driving Stewie to commit suicide over the trauma.
- In "Back to the Pilot", he and Stewie travel back to the first episode of the series. Brian says he needs to use the bathroom, but instead, he intentionally tells his past self about September 11, 2001. Even though he had good intentions and saves three thousand lives, it causes Former President George W. Bush to lose the 2004 election and reform the confederacy with the southern states seceding from the country, resulting in another civil war that kills seventeen million people. When Stewie and Brian correct the mistake and return to the Present, Stewie discovers that Brian has taken false and undeserved credit for the Harry Potter novels.
- He once took Principessa off of Lois so he could fondle her breasts but when she wakes up he hits her on the head with a lamp and drives away.
- He once shot an innocent man and said to him, "Later, Dink.".
- In "The Thin White Line", he became addicted to cocaine. This led to some uncomfortable turbulence as he became more aggressive with his family.
- He is in love with Lois Griffin, and he constantly flirts with her, and, in "Play It Again, Brian", tries to show it by nearly raping her. In the same episode, he also goes into a fight with Peter after the latter confronts him.
- In "The Blind Side", Brian dates a blind woman and tries to hide the fact that he is a dog. When exposed, she breaks up with him for the lie. However, he is shown at the end of the episode taking advantage of her blindness by pretending he's another guy with a different voice with the implication that he will trick her into having sex with him.
- He once dated Cheryl Tiegs just to spite Glenn Quagmire.
- In a cutaway gag, Brian accidentally runs over Dean Koontz and backs over him again once he found out he wasn't Stephen King.
- He steals the Golden Clam Trophy due to a fondness for shiny things, which causes great tension between the residents of Spooner Street (which led to accusations of theft), and sway them from learning the truth. He also presumably killed Rod Serling in a cutaway gag following this incident.
- When Brian got a gag self-help book called "Wish it, Want it, Do it" published, he became extremely ungrateful and arrogant when the book became a success. Even though Stewie had helped him get the book published in the first place and had offered to be his publicist, Brian abused him many times. Such examples of this abuse included forcing him to return to their hotel alone just because they had eaten dinner in the back room of a fancy restaurant, blaming him because Stewie told him about his pill and Brian was standing under an air vent, and firing him for forgetting to tell him about a change in a talk show. In the end, Brian still blames him for his own mistakes on said show.
- He is also shown to have a nasty habit of being unreliable with paying up, such as with his bet with Stewie and setting up his date Ida to pay for drinks after promising he would cover it (although the former led to one of Stewie's more villainous moments when he tortured Brian multiple times over the bet).
- When Stewie offered Brian one free punch, he used this to terrify Stewie, to the point where he beats himself up. In the end, Brian kicks Stewie into a double-decker bus. However, considering Stewie viciously beat him up twice, shot him in both knees, and torched him with a flamethrower in the same episode, they would be considered even.
- In "Road to the North Pole", during their attempt at doing Santa's job, Brian and Stewie violently murder a little girl's father, knock her mother unconscious with a baseball bat when she tries to flee for help and then tie them both up to prevent them from calling the cops.
- Despite having good intentions in that he was trying to convince Mayor Adam West to revoke the gay marriage ban, Brian still held the mayor hostage at gunpoint.
- While hanging out with Frank Sinatra Jr., he decided to live life to the fullest. But as a result, he became an alcoholic, abandoned Stewie, where he was attacked by man-eating deer and lost an ear, and even bit Peter.
- In "Stewie B. Goode", he gave Stewie alcohol and made him drunk, although it was originally to teach him a lesson.
- In the same episode, he brought Stewie to the Drunken Clam, which is illegal to bring minors to bars. Both Brian and Stewie drank so many martinis that they ended up crashing into the Drunken Clam, causing property damage, and, unintentionally, made Peter lose his job in "You Know What Grinds My Gears?".
- In the video game "Back to the Multiverse", Brian is shown freely engaging in attacking, killing, and other atrocious acts, including a disgusting sense of "humor" when he ignores Joe's calls for help after the boss fight against Crippletron. He even assassinates Mayor McCheese on behalf of "Evil Mayor West" in order to retain a favor in one dimension, and is really only concerned about Evil Mayor West backing out on his deal; although in fairness, Brian is trying to keep Evil Mayor West from providing weapons for Bertram's plot. He also has an odd Even Evil Has Standards moment when he considers Stewie "sick" for killing the Santa Claus of one dimension by dropping a TV set on him.
- Brian has proven himself to be a massive hypocrite on numerous occasions:
- The first example is in "Brian & Stewie", in which despite being liberal, he keeps a pistol because of protective reasons and pretends to be against using a gun itself over the "national tragedy at Columbine", although it's later revealed that he has it in case he wants to commit suicide. Stewie even mentions his liberal views when he asks Brian why he has the gun.
- A second example is when he deliberately runs over a squirrel, which, unbeknownst to him, traumatizes Stewie. He also hires a hitman to kill Quagmire's cat. Also during a date in "Love, Blactually", he mauls a rabbit at a pet store. In "Boys & Squirrels", Brian sadistically mauls a baby squirrel that Chris and Stewie nurse back to health to death, greatly traumatizing them both and leading the two to blame each other instead of him. These actions make him a hypocrite because in several episodes he supported animal rights and was against violence towards animals.
- A third example is his views on LGBT rights, which he violated in "Family Gay" when Lois is depressed that Peter is leaving her for another man. Brian then takes Stewie's idea for ending Lois' depression by kidnapping Peter and taking him to an ex-gay center to "turn him back to his old self". This was less selfish than most of Brian's villainous deeds though, plus since Peter’s only gay on account of taking an experimental drug that would eventually (and did) wear off, it wouldn’t really matter anyway.
- The fourth and final one is in "Family Guy Lite". He read Lois' manuscript for her creative writing group and interprets this to mean this is something she's looking for in a lover. An attempt to be that lover and have an affair with her fails, but a trip to the grocery store to find wine for a second attempt reveals that not only is it the location of her manuscript, but a clerk named Horatio is the man described in it. When Lois announces that she's going to the grocery store and won't be home until late, Brian and Stewie follow Lois and find her taking Horatio for a ride to a stable. Confronting her and begging her not to have an affair, Brian reveals that not only did he read her manuscript but tried to use it to take advantage of her. Brian was basically telling Lois that her having an affair with anyone other than him is morally objectionable.
- In "Brian's a Bad Father", he has neglected to visit his human son Dylan. But upon hearing he is a famous TV star, Brian sets to become a writer on his show and make adult-only changes to it. Dylan realizes Brian only took the job for his own advantage and pointed out what a bad father he really is. Brian also steals a table of food from the studio. Fortunately, they make up later on thanks to Stewie.
- In "Herpe the Love Sore", he gives Stewie and Chris herpes by transmitting blood, knowing very well that he himself has the incurable disease and kept it a secret from them. The two exact revenge on Brian as a result by ruining all his dates and hacking his Facebook account until he regrets it in the end.
- In "Brian the Closer", he gets a job as a real estate agent after undergoing surgery. He cons Quagmire into buying a run-down apartment loft, despite the fact that Quagmire consoled and helped Brian with his teeth earlier in the episode (Quagmire calls him out on this later on). Later Brian apparently comes to the realization of his actions and admits what he did was pretentious - until revealing it was part of his devious plan to outlast the 72 hours on Quagmire’s warranty, which causes Quagmire to violently break his teeth with a lamp. It's unknown how Quagmire got his money back.
- In "This Little Piggy", while he and Stewie are at the Folk Festival, they both meet a hippie girl who ends up overdosing on cocaine just before she could make a threesome with them. Afterward, Brian and Stewie both decide to dump her body in a pile of other dead hippies, Brian feels nothing over dumping her body or seeing the other corpses. Stewie regarded him as a monster for his sexual objectification of the hippie girl and knowing nothing about her.
- In "Stewie is Enceinte", Stewie decides to impregnate himself with Brian's seed, in the hopes of having his babies so that they can grow closer. Brian constantly tries to kill the unborn babies by pushing Stewie down the stairs or through other various evil acts. When the babies do finally come, he ends up getting closer to them, but once they clear up a misunderstanding, Brian suggests they get rid of them, by giving them to an animal shelter.
- In "Brokeback Swanson", he had sex with Tori, the wife of a Navy Seal. He didn't know that she was married at first, so he pretended to be an ordinary dog to avoid trouble. Afterwards, Tori convinced him to keep fooling around behind his back, and he just went along with it. This is one of those moments that cements Brian as an inconsiderate scumbag.
- In "The Heartbreak Dog", he has an affair with his Next Door Neighbor, Bonnie Swanson, causing her to temporarily leave Joe. Later on, Joe eventually finds Brian and Bonnie at a diner and apologizes to Bonnie for being too dependent on her due to him being a paraplegic and they reconcile. Brian smugly calls himself Cupid for bringing Joe and Bonnie back together, but Joe shoots him in the leg as punishment for his affair with her.
- In "American Gigg-olo", Brian tried to save an attractive young woman whose car had crashed into the ocean, but after finding out she had a baby, he just let them both drown. He then gets a job at a hardware store to reclaim his health insurance but acts pretentious and shows no interest in helping customers. This goes to show how horrible he had become.
- In "The D in Apartment 23", after renewing his interest in Twitter, he posts a racist tweet "About to see the new Kevin Hart movie. Just kidding. I’m white & went to college. #BaywatchMovie", which goes viral. Even after deleting it and all of his social media accounts, the Griffins are turned into pariahs by association. Brian tries to make an apology to the mob outside the house at Lois' suggestion, but it goes awry as he keeps getting interrupted by unseen "non-humans" in the mob. When they won't stop, instead of apologizing, he reprimands the town at the top of his lungs calling them hypocrites who are no better than he is and screams about how he's watched tons of "black porn" in front of women and kids. Rather than welcome Brian back with open arms, the family decides to kick him out to keep them safe from the mobs' wrath, which forcing him into living in a rundown apartment. That said, while what Brian did and said was wrong, his actions weren't nearly as bad as the town's reaction.
- In "Petey IV", he gets a job at a suicide hotline and meets a hot new co-worker, but when he fails to attract her attention, he tries to use Facebook to get to know her better and ends up masturbating to images of her and her mother at her Grandfather's funeral. When she decides to give him a chance, she catches him in the act when she returns. Afraid of her telling and causing him to lose his job as well as his landlord's threat to throw him out for lack of rent money, Brian decides to take his advice to frame her with drugs later at work, and she is arrested when she decides yet again to give him a chance. He also shows no interest in helping people.
- In "The Woof of Wall Street", Brian joins Stewie in investing money. Initially, it seems well, but when he decides to name in a shady-looking investment in a company that makes protein shakes, they find the key ingredient is dogs. Stewie wants out, but Brian insists on proceeding with the investment, making him a sell-out and a traitor to his own kind. He soon finds himself on the menu as well but is saved at the last moment by Stewie and Rupert. In the end, Brian tries to pin the experience on the evils of Wall Street, but Stewie points out that it was his own fault. This shows that Brian still doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions.
- In "Married...With Cancer", he married a girl with terminal cancer, Jess Schlotz, and pretended to truly care for her, when in reality, he just wanted to make himself look good in the public eye. He assumed that she would die shortly after their wedding, so he made tons of promises that he wouldn't keep. Right after they were married, Dr. Gravitas came in and told Jess that she had beaten the cancer, forcing Brian to go through with everything he had promised. A few days into their marriage, Brian allowed Jess to choke on her food and made a half-assed attempt to save her life when in actuality, he was hoping she'd die, definitely making this Moral Event Horizon-crossing act. She never did and Brian's plan had failed, forcing him to stay married to her, for another episode.
- In "Dead Dog Walking", he made another attempt at dishonestly escaping his marriage, by faking his own death in a stunt that would have resulted in burning down the apartment. This was before Peter came in and stopped him. Jess later pointed out that Brian did very little, if anything to save her from choking before, and Brian admitted to this technically being a conscious attempt at letting her die.
- In "Forget Me Not", it's implied that he defecates on Quagmire's lawn to be spiteful towards him.
- In "Scammed Yankees", he tries to have sex with Meg's friend Patty after discovering her attractive body.
- In "Pal Stewie", he revealed he threw away a birthday invitation from Stewie's new friend Hudson, as he was afraid of losing his own friendship with Stewie as Brian felt he was being pushed aside by Stewie in favor of Hudson. As a result, Brian indirectly caused for Stewie to revert back to his evil ways. This can prove that he wants no one else to be involved with his friendship with Stewie.
- In "Switch the Flip" he switches bodies with Peter and doesn't tell Lois it isn't him, right before the pair have unsatisfying (on Lois' part) sex meaning Brian raped Lois.
- In "The Marrying Kind", he had sex with Stewie's mail-order bride, therefore stealing his wife and ticking Stewie off.
- In "Once Bitten", he became an abusive brute to Peter because he gave Brian a suppository and Brian hates it when anyone touches his ass.
- In "Must Love Dogs", he agrees to be Quagmire's Dog, but only so he can see Quagmire's relationship with a dog lover crash and burn; he's smug throughout the ordeal and ups the ante by making the woman think Quagmire proposed, and she accepts. When the relationship does fail, Quagmire gets revenge by having Seamus show Brian his 430 pages long screenplay for Ocean's 1, making Brian very angry.
- In "Christmas Crime", he harasses people for celebrating Christmas on government property and even destroys a nativity scene when driving while intoxicated. To add insult to injury, he even wished he had instead run over the Menorah put there by Mort, showing anti-semitism. He also attempted to put the blame on Mort during the investigation, further showing his bigotry. When Christmas is canceled by the Mayor until the culprit is found, rather than accept responsibility for his actions and apologize to save Christmas, he continues to hide his crime, showing he would sacrifice everyone else's happiness just to help himself. He also showed no remorse once he was caught and even relished being in prison by himself on Christmas. This ultimately shows Brian has no tolerance or respect for religion or religious holidays. He did have a small change of heart and grew to love Christmas after seeing his family have fun without him and even attempted to fix the nativity (with horrible results), though this doesn't really absolve him of his wrongdoing morally.
- In "The Munchurian Candidate", after witnessing Stewie's man-cave, he and Chris lied about liking it and right after leaving, they brutally insulted it. Even after Stewie redid the man cave so it would be more for their liking, they once more lied about liking it and then brutally insulted it once they left. This led to Stewie trying to kill them. Brian also tried to blame Chris for all of the insults. When Stewie held him and Chris at crossbow point, they once more lied about liking the crossbow to avoid being killed, only to insult it and Stewie's man-cave once more after he'd spared them, causing him to shoot both of them with the crossbow.
- In "Carny Knowledge", Brian dates a carny named Amber. However, after she breaks up with him, Brian vows to get her back just so he could break up with her in retaliation, despite Stewie suggesting to him that he should let it go. His plan nearly works, but he is threatened into staying with her by her cruel uncle as karma.
- In a more debatable moment, in "Seahorse Seashell Party", when Meg confides in Brian that maybe her being the family punching bag is her purpose after her standing up to her parents and Chris results in them turning on each other and falling apart, Brian doesn't refute or disagree with her theory and instead calls her decision to stay their punching bag noble and mature. To be fair, he had just come off of a very disturbing drug trip from using magic mushrooms and cutting off his left ear while high, so he may not have been in his right mind.
- In "Faith No More" Brian pretends to be a Christian to get close to a girl he like. After she refuses to have sex with him due to her Evangelical Christian values, Brian uses Stewie's time machine to prevent Jesus from forming Christianity. This changes the world's primary religion to Judaism, to which Brian and Stewie go back in time to prevent Moses from reading the Ten Commandments because the family had to attend Shabbat in the changed timeline. Though this removes religion from the present completely in the second changed timeline, God who had become a mailman in this timeline forces Brian and Stewie to undo their work by physically assaulting him. These actions are a clear example of Brian's hatred of religion as a result of his atheism and not caring how changing the history of religion would affect history.
Why He Doesn't Stand Out?[]
- While he has committed many bad deeds and MEHs that push him above the baseline, he fails the massive heinous standard of the show to Peter and Quagmire who did worse. Resources don’t help as Brian has a massive amount of hi-tech gadgets and technology that he shares with Stewie while Peter is the patriarch of his family and Quagmire is a pilot.
- While he is taken more seriously than most characters in Family Guy, he is still frequently played for laughs too much to be NPE due to the comedic nature of the show.
- He has a tragic past of being raised in horrible conditions before having his life saved by Peter and being a failed writer in the present who is unable to find happiness and meaningful relationships in life. While it doesn't fully excuse or even motivate many of his actions because, as Quagmire points out, he prefers to never learn from his mistakes due to his extreme arrogance, he can still be sympathetic at times such as his temporary death from a car injury.
- Note that Quagmire beats him up sometimes for simply being a dog, is a self-aware hypocrite, and never gives up being a serial r*pist.
- He is on and off, as shown in some episodes where he does heroic deeds such as saving the universe from Bertram, helping Stewie save Christmas, preventing 9/11 by fixing the original timeline and saving Meg from sex slavery.
- He has a genuine friendship with the family in most episodes, especially his best friend Stewie and Meg, who he deeply cares for next to Lois.
- While less prominent in the present, he sometimes shows remorse for his actions and makes amends if possible.
- He can be considered a scapegoat such as in ''the Hand That rocks the Wheelchair'',he gets sticks the tv remote batteries up to his nose, tightens his collars to make it hard for to breath and choped his tail off by Evil Stewie and ''High School English'',the characters Brian plays in each segment end up getting killed in increasingly painful ways. [e.x being shot,disembowled and crushed].
External Links[]
- Brian Griffin on the Villains Wiki
- Brian Griffin on the Heroes Wiki
- Brian Griffin on the Family Guy Wiki
- Brian Griffin on the Inconsistently Admirable Wiki
- Brian Griffin on the Base Breaking Character Wiki
- Brian Griffin on the Entertainingly Detestable Wiki
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 Villainous Benchmarks
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Mainstream Guest Star Characters See Also | ||